Jay Shetty's episode on Diary of a CEO is one of the most profound conversations about meaning, purpose, and inner peace that Steven Bartlett has ever recorded. The former monk turned global motivational powerhouse — with over 50 million followers and the bestselling book Think Like a Monk — sat down for over 1.5 hours to explain how ancient wisdom can solve modern problems. This is the complete breakdown.
Jay Shetty's journey is extraordinary: a British kid from North London who stumbled into a monk's lecture at university, spent three years living as a monk in India, then returned to build one of the most influential personal development brands in the world. His conversation with Steven is intimate, practical, and deeply relatable. For more mindset-shifting episodes, check out our best Diary of a CEO mindset episodes guide.
Jay tells Steven that growing up in London, he was surrounded by three definitions of success: doctor, lawyer, or failure. He was a good student, but something felt hollow. He was going through the motions — getting good grades, going to the right parties — but felt increasingly disconnected from any sense of meaning.
Everything changed when a friend dragged him to hear a monk speak at his university. Jay was sceptical. He expected robes, incense, and irrelevant platitudes. Instead, he found a man who had given up a career at a top consulting firm to serve others — and who radiated a peace and fulfilment that Jay had never seen in anyone he admired.
"I'd met people who were rich but not happy. I'd met people who were successful but not fulfilled. This was the first time I met someone who had nothing material but had everything I actually wanted."
— Jay Shetty, Author & Former Monk, on Diary of a CEO
That encounter led Jay to spend his summers in India, and eventually to live as a monk for three years. He slept on the floor, ate one meal a day, meditated for hours, and studied ancient Vedic philosophy. But the most important thing he learned wasn't any specific technique — it was a fundamentally different way of relating to himself and the world.
Steven asks Jay what the single biggest lesson from monastic life was. Jay's answer surprises him: it's not meditation. It's not discipline. It's self-awareness.
Jay explains that most people live their entire lives on autopilot. They absorb values from their parents, their peers, social media, and society — and they never stop to ask whether those values are actually theirs. The monk tradition starts with a ruthless audit of your own mind: What do you actually believe? What do you actually want? And how much of what you think you want is just borrowed desire?
"We spend more time choosing what to watch on Netflix than we spend choosing what values to live by. And then we wonder why we feel lost."
— Jay Shetty, Author & Former Monk, on Diary of a CEO
Jay shares a framework from the monastery called Dharma — the concept of living in alignment with your unique nature, skills, and purpose. He breaks it down into four questions that anyone can use:
When all four overlap, you've found your dharma. Jay says most people optimise for only one or two of these — usually money and talent — and that's why they feel successful but unfulfilled.
The conversation takes a sharp turn when Steven asks Jay about social media's impact on mental health. As someone with over 50 million followers, Jay has a unique perspective — he's both a beneficiary and a critic of the platforms.
Jay identifies three ways social media systematically undermines your wellbeing:
"We're the first generation that can get a dopamine hit from a stranger's approval every five seconds. Our brains were not designed for that. It's not weakness — it's biology. You have to build systems to protect yourself."
— Jay Shetty, Author & Former Monk, on Diary of a CEO
Jay's solutions are practical. He recommends a "digital sunset" — no screens after 9pm. He suggests starting each morning with 10 minutes of silence before touching your phone. And he practices what he calls "intention-based scrolling" — deciding exactly what you're looking for before opening any app, and closing it the moment you've found it.
Jay's book 8 Rules of Love became a global bestseller, and Steven dives deep into his relationship philosophy. Jay argues that modern dating culture is fundamentally broken because it treats relationships as a marketplace — swiping, scoring, optimising — instead of as a practice of growth.
He shares four stages of love from the Vedic tradition:
Jay tells Steven that most people give up at stage three. They hit the first real conflict and assume the relationship is broken. But struggle isn't a sign that you're with the wrong person — it's the crucible that forges genuine intimacy. The key is learning to fight well: to disagree without disrespecting, to be honest without being cruel.
"Don't look for someone who completes you. Look for someone who challenges you to complete yourself. The best relationships aren't two halves making a whole — they're two whole people choosing to grow together."
— Jay Shetty, Author & Former Monk, on Diary of a CEO
For more relationship wisdom from the podcast, explore our Diary of a CEO relationship advice guide.
Steven asks Jay to share the specific practices he uses daily — not the Instagram version, but what he actually does. Jay laughs and admits that his practice has evolved significantly since his monk days. He no longer meditates for four hours. But he does maintain three non-negotiable daily practices:
Jay uses box breathing — inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. He does this for 5 minutes immediately upon waking. He tells Steven it's the fastest way to shift from the groggy, reactive "monkey mind" state to a calm, focused, intentional state.
Jay writes down three things he's grateful for, but with a twist: he writes down why he's grateful for each one. "I'm grateful for my wife" becomes "I'm grateful for my wife because she challenged me yesterday in a way that made me see my own blind spot." The specificity is what creates the emotional shift.
Before bed, Jay reviews his day through three lenses: What did I learn? How did I grow? Where was I out of alignment with my values? This practice prevents days from blurring together and creates a continuous feedback loop for self-improvement.
"Meditation isn't about stopping your thoughts. It's about changing your relationship with them. You go from being the actor in the drama to being the audience watching the play."
— Jay Shetty, Author & Former Monk, on Diary of a CEO
Steven, as a fellow content creator, is fascinated by Jay's growth story. Jay reveals that when he left the monastery and returned to London, he had nothing. No job, no savings, no connections in the media world. He moved back in with his parents and started making videos in his bedroom.
His strategy was simple but disciplined: create one piece of content every single day that genuinely helped someone. Not content designed to go viral. Not content designed to impress. Content designed to serve. He'd take a concept from his monastic studies and translate it into a 60-second video that a 22-year-old scrolling Instagram could actually use.
It took him three years of daily posting before anything significant happened. During that time, he dealt with relentless self-doubt, comparison to faster-growing creators, and pressure from well-meaning friends and family to "get a real job." But he kept going because his intention wasn't fame — it was service.
Jay's content advice to Steven's audience is refreshingly simple: stop trying to be interesting and start trying to be useful. The creators who last aren't the ones who go viral once. They're the ones who show up every day with genuine value.
Jay Shetty's Diary of a CEO episode pairs perfectly with Mo Gawdat's happiness episode and Simon Sinek's leadership conversation. Together, they form a complete guide to building a life that's both successful and meaningful.
Jay Shetty appeared on Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett for an in-depth conversation about purpose, the monk mindset, mindfulness practices, relationships, social media's impact on mental health, and building an authentic personal brand. The episode runs approximately 1.5 hours.
Jay's core message is about finding your dharma — your unique purpose — by aligning your natural talents, passions, the world's needs, and economic value. He also emphasises daily mindfulness practices, protecting yourself from social media's negative effects, and approaching relationships as a practice of growth rather than a transaction.
The monk mindset is about developing radical self-awareness, living in alignment with your true values (not society's expectations), and approaching every challenge as an opportunity for growth. It's not about renouncing the world — it's about engaging with it more intentionally.
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